Phone Notes

I'm not a poet.

Poetry that I've written in the past, I've always considered a form of personal communication or catharsis, meant for the eyes of my muse or mine alone.

But I've had a recent realisation that there's value in sharing work which may have some form of universal appeal.

After all, it's for the reader to ascribe meaning to the poetry. It doesn't have to retain the personal meaning the poet originally intended it for.

To reiterate again, I'm not a poet.

So there are no rules of poetry I follow.

These are as the title suggests, notes from my phone, and any resemblance to poetry is purely coincidental.

I've lost much of such notes I've written in the past.

Going forward, I'd like to preserve them here for posterity.

(🔖 This post is periodically updated with new works and old. You can save it as a bookmark.)

1. Plastic perfection

People with no rough edges,
There's something repulsive about them.
Like the sanitised disinfected smell
Of a germ-free hospital ward.

2. Filicide

The father looks at the son's lifeless body
After his suicide,
He feels two emotions—
Annoyance and shame.

3. Old age un-romanticised

To the qualities of youth we cling on;
Vitality, vigour, health, sharpness of mind,
And admire who managed to hold on,
For having aged like fine wine.
Whoever to the effects of old age fell prey;
Frailty, impotence, disease, senility,
They have aged quite badly, we say.
We romanticise preservation, fermentation
For as long as our lifeforce may persist,
To remaining pristine and youthful
In the mind, the body, and the spirit.
But not growing old.
For to grow old we know is to decay,
And what's so romantic about decaying, pray?

4. The thief

There's a thief living in my house,
What has he stolen, you ask?
Nothing yet, but he will, I know,
One day he'll betray my trust.

He has his eye on my precious gold,
I must be careful, you say?
Yes, yes, I'm quite cautious,
Alert to his sneaky prying play.

Thinks he's a smart fox, but I'm wiser,
What measures I've taken, you can't fathom?
Well, I locked my gold in an alloy-steel safe,
And let it sink to the ocean bottom.

How would I get it back, you wonder?
Alas, you're clearly confused about my situation,
The thief wants to steal my precious gold,
Now it's secure in a cryptic location.

5. Consumable love

Eros (erotic love)
A mug of hot decadent chocolate,
The smooth velvety concoction
Slowly warming up your body
On a chilly winter night,
The soft caress of hands against your skin
Under a cozy blanket by the fireplace.

Ludus (playful love)
Freshly spun pink cotton candy,
Warm fluffy sugar melting in your mouth,
Disappearing before you can
Sink your teeth into it,
Airy strawberry confection.

Philia (friendly love)
Clinking pints of chilled beer
To the sounds of 'Cheers!' and 'Salud!'
In an old worn-down watering hole,
A local band in the background
Playing Don't Stop Believin'.

Storge (familial love)
A bowl of freshly made chicken soup
Being spoon-fed gently in bed,
The warm savoury and umami flavors
Nourishing your weak fever-ridden body,
A damp cloth on your forehead
And in your ears the sweet melody
Of an old familiar lullaby.

Mania (obsessive love)
Draining a bottle of cheap country liquor
Straight down your throat,
Fiery poison fuelling bad decisions,
Waking up with a terrible hangover
And no recollection of caused destruction.

Pragma (enduring love)
Plain rice and dal with a serving of
Home-grown vegetables on the side,
Salted and spiced perfectly to your liking,
Hands offering you afterwards, a glass of
Lukewarm water and your daily medication,
You had almost forgotten to take it today.

Philautia (self love)
An easy one-pot recipe from your mother
Cooked reluctantly after a long tiring day,
And doing the dishes afterwards
In the tiny kitchen sink
With your favourite playlist for company.

Agape (selfless love)
An all-you-can-eat sumptuous buffet
Abundantly replenishing,
The purest water from mountain springs
Endlessly refilling your cup.

6. Desolation

Don't care about your boring company
Don't want your fake conversation,
Don't bother with the sweet niceties
Don't stress about my chronic isolation.
Leave me alone...
Without food
Without water
Without air,
Hungry
Thirsty
Suffocating,
Buried in your backyard,
Six feet under the ground.

7. Darkness

Darkness is a cool viscous
all-engulfing liquid,
Erupting
Emerging
Overflowing,
Slowly sedating
Slowly consuming
Slowly penetrating;
Your soul.
Relax, relax...
Breathe in deep;
Take it in,
It's soothing to your skin,
Gliding between
Your fingers and your toes,
Deeper, deeper...
It's seeping further in,
Relieving...
Your pain;
Like morphine.
Cup it in your hands
And drink it up,
Slowly, slowly...
There's no rush,
Savour the sweetness;
It'll quench your thirst.
Don't hold back;
Let it consume you
Further, further...
Till it fills you up
And fully takes over.

8. The goddess

My unholy soul seeks salvation
For my sins I need redemption,
The altar between her thighs
Demands from me a sacrifice.

"Fallen angel, bow down
Take off your heavy crown,
Beg for mercy on your knees
Only my desire you shall appease."

From the depths of her deepest ocean
Toiling to churn up a healing potion,
Sweet elixir of love, cleansing me with every precious drop
Saturating my insides with aphrodisiac pleasures of a God.

She blesses me with a sound, a moan, a sigh,
I collapse exhausted at her shrine,
My soul one with the divine.

9. Aftercare ecstasy

Is there an experience more ecstatic
Than...
To lie against her body
Cozy, warm and bare,
To smell her soft fragrant hair
As she pulls me closer,
To feel the rise and fall
Of her weary breath
Harmonise with mine.

10. Fatal limerence

Her and I together,
We should be in a melancholic tragedy
With a lived sadly ever after,
Instead we exist in disappointing reality.
I put on a love song she shared with me,
And looked at her sweet pictures
while listening to it,
It's making me fall for her,
A decision I'm bound to regret later.
I want a taste of her heavenly lips,
Then be lulled to my heavenly death;
What an absurd fantasy,
And yet fitting, considering
My self-destructive tendency.
She's a femme fentanyl,
I can't get enough of her,
Is this even worth the thrill
If it won't last forever?
Will I pull the trigger?
Or bite the bullet?
Questions only time will answer.

11. Placeholder

Right place, right time
Flawless fit into your timeline,
Did I like it? Didn't matter
You moulded me just fine,
Into the perfect form
Saying the perfect words
Playing the perfect chords.
No room for error
Lest I wanted hell raised,
Partner, lover, friend forever,
If it gave you the ick, it was out,
What did I desire? Didn't matter
I placated you however
Like the perfect placeholder,
Till I had had enough.

12. A prayer

Kneel over my face, Aphrodite
Grab the head of my unholy grave,
Let your glowing heat warm up my skin
Forgive me for the selfish pleasures I crave.

The sweet smell of your blood and sweat
My tongue drenched from your lips swelling,
Feel my heart-beat hasten, Aphrodite
Your sighs of ecstasy have my veins throbbing.

Meld your rhythm with mine, Aphrodite
Pour your sweet potion till my mouth overflows,
My throat's been parched for months now
I beg for Somaras dripping from the source.

Let the heavens rain on me, o' Mother Goddess
I've paid my dues at the altar of your shrine,
Quench the thirst inside my suffocating soul
Make me drown in your nectar divine.

13. Karaoke queen

I don't miss you anymore,
Only the sweet sound of you singing
While you put your makeup on,
A fuzzy way that always had me feeling.
In my car when you played your favourite song
And in the passenger seat sang along,
You looked so happy, radiant and carefree,
Not even the gods could've seized that moment from me.
"Why don't you ever sing in the church
with your sisters?", I asked,
"I don't get time to practise, baaby!", you laughed.
Karaoke nights on the weekend with your family,
I couldn't care less about the event, respectfully,
I longed only to hear the sound of your singing,
Loved how it always got me feeling,
I could've lived off it forever,
I needed neither food nor water.
Sometimes I miss that sweet sound from before,
Otherwise, I don't miss you anymore.

To connect with me

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